Let me preface this entry with a bit of an explanation. There is in every generation, a certain grouping of people who know without a doubt that they belong to a bygone era. I do not say this with pride, but with longing. For the need to escape into a world and a time long gone often calls my name. My favorite time period is the '50s, and no, I do not refer to the 1950s, but rather the 1850s. What could I possibly want to be a poineer woman barely surviving the bitter winters of the plains in a mudhouse? Why, a fight of course. I need something to conquer.

Only recently do I feel at peace with this need to conquer and win something for it is God who helps to fill this need. He created me to embody this fighting and conquering spirit. I express a need for the 1850s as it is the last known untamed, wind and snow ravaged territory known to the American. Once the West was ours, all there was to look towards was the Moon and Space, of which there really no is daily struggle for Life and Death in a safe little bubble of steel and fire-resistant foam. There is no great monster whether it's the unrelinquishing cold, the ruined crops that were planted with the remaining harvested seed, or the fear of not knowing whether the Indians would harm yourself and your children.

There is a spiritual bend to this need to conquer, and conquer I will, in the name of my Lord. But woe to the person who thinks they can start an arguement with me and win. The call of a fight is louder and stronger than nearly anything I've known. I have got to learn how to harness this power, this drive and use it solely in the name and the goodness of my Christ. As I have not yet learned to do this fully as of yet, I am liable to lapse into fighting spells and old language and turns of speech. For the need to conquer lies in my blood, it engulfs me, and therefore ought to be released and expressed in every manner of things whether it's my speech, my handwriting, my hand-sewing, or my gardening. I will let it out until my Lord shows me who and where upon to target my conquering spirit.

Perhaps now you can understand my argumentative side a bit better and also understand my deep interest in Spiritual Warfare.