Can a person's family of origin elicit problems that otherwise would not have appeared? I think I reacted defensively to my family's problems instead of behaving proactively to create a better future for myself. How could one create healthy boundaries?

I can't help you with that one. I'd suggest finding a good therapist and working through those reactions.

Ask me anything

Ok, now that is high school.
fucking hilarious
It's only second-rate to the absinthe fairy.

to post or not to post

so I wrote this huge brain vomit post & then deleted it  =)

chocolate ice cream and gchat is helping

and my big stuffed neon orange elephant...just one of those weeks where everything shuts down

even my sense of grammar and formation shuts down sheesh

just gotta let it roll on through...no wonder they call it urge surfing

enough bitching i'm gonna go write

Analysis

I can see how what I said a week ago can be a point of contention.  At some point in a convoluted discussion among several students and the professor I had made the comment that sometimes students may know more than a professor; the one at the bottom of the totem pole may have a better grasp on the matter than the one at the top.  Naturally, that can be upsetting to some people if they do not let the other possibilities come to mind.  However I had not expected to be called out on it this evening.

Professor comes up to me before the session began and said, “What was it you said last week? That the intern knows more than the supervisor?”  I countered with, “Well, I didn’t say it like that.  I can’t recall exactly.  Why?”  I hedged.  He’s defensive; getting into my full line of vision, dominating the physical and social space around me.   Plus, I would like to get the full context of the matter again – what exactly was it that I had said that put him on the defensive?  Was he interpreting it in a different manner than I had perceived myself as stating it?  He did not offer clarification.  He’s trying to establish order, and I can only assume that he feels that I am questioning his judgment, knowledge and experience in the field.  I did not have the opportunity because he took the pause in my words (when I’m still thinking and reflecting to come up with a response!!) to say “I’ve never had an intern that knew more than me.  It doesn’t work that way.”

Well let me tell you what does work that way.  He comes from the psychoanalytical Freudian training and paradigm.  From what has been mentioned in class he does stand behind the current paradigm of EBP (evidence-based practice) and a slight eclectic mix of other modern theories and perspectives.  However, what I had insinuated with my comment last week, and I was unable to defend, is that other fields and professions have their own perspectives and paradigms.  I’m very EBP, along with multisystemic theory, systems theory, positive psychology, empowerment and the strengths perspective.  I move within these with a lot of ease.  I see things from many perspectives; many facets.  A student or an intern may not know or comprehend more, but understand a different view or facet.  A student can appear to know more than a professor because they are not caged in the paradigm.

Professor is focused on tradition and principles, and often makes statements that draw attention to “how things should be done, and are done.”  He’s mentioned that therapeutic practices are not to differ from what everyone else is doing; well, Rogers and others broke away from the behavioralists.  Rogers disagreed that people were merely functioning on conditioning (classical, intermittent, interval & ratio), and formulated the humanistic approach that incorporated emotions and reactions; a further extension from Rogers was existential psychology.  Sometimes there has to be people who break away from the norm, the “way it has to be done” in order for there to be growth.  For my Professor, principles are not rules; rules may be broken but not principles.  I understand the concept, but support it only so far, as can be noted.

On several occasions he has stressed the appropriate need for joining professional organizations.  He has pushed local, state and national organizations.  The class he is teaching is one of the introductory courses, yet he pushes this need to professionally belong more than any of the other professors in the program.  Belonging-ness: making sure that students are not put off by him, always making nice.  At times, appearing more as a comedian than a serious professor; he’s ingratiating himself: he has to belong. 

ESTJ
2^nd interesting link (has a spot-on humanized description) 
Kiersey's Typology

Sleep Deprivation

NaNoWriMo began Nov 1 at 12:01am, and I only started writing yesterday well after 10pm.  I went to bed sometime around 2:30 and I only have about 900 words written.  I'm in this for a novel re-write.  I'm not trying to win the challenge (I only win bragging rights)!  Still, the first chapter always drags.  Favorite sentence from last night: "The air was stale with apprehension despite the fall crisp."

Since I'm running on less sleep for NaNo, I'm also still very out of whack from Saturday; too much partying & my back hates me for sleeping on a lumpy futon.  The next time I sleep over, I'll have to bring a board if I want to avoid all this pain.  Or, I could stop partying...because that idea is so viable.

Anyway, back to writing.

Indulgence

From the Handbook of Indulgences

Visiting a Church or an Oratory on All Souls Day

A plenary (“full”) indulgence, which is applicable only to the souls in Purgatory is granted to the Christian faithful who devoutly visit a church or an oratory on (November 2nd,) All Souls Day.

Will you not, for love, try today to gain this indulgence?

Requirements for Obtaining a Plenary Indulgence on All Souls Day (Nov. 2nd)

• Visit a church and pray for souls in Purgatory
• Say one “Our Father” and the “Creed” in the visit to the church
• Say one “Our Father” and one “Hail Mary” for the Holy Father’s intentions
• Worthily receive Holy Communion (ideally on the same day if you can get to Mass)
• Make a sacramental confession within a week of All Souls Day
• For a plenary indulgence be  free from all attachment to sin, even venial sin (otherwise, the indulgence is partial, not plenary, “full”).

h/t: Fr. Z.

Mom says the Bible was written by men. I was taught in school that the Bible is the inspired Word of God. How can I prove to her that the Bible came from God, not from mere mortals?

You are both correct. God spoke to certain men and women throughout Judeo-Christian history. He asked them to write their vocation, their experience, and what transpired.

Do not fall into the circular argument regarding 2nd Timothy 3:16 and 2nd Peter 1:21 - "It must be the Word of God because it says so".

First, we know that the events of the Bible actually occurred, so it's much more than a collection of fictional stories. The people, places and events are real. numerous archeological findings have proven this. Secondly, we can look at the contents of the Bible itself. It is a collection of books written by 40+ individuals, over 1,500 years and 3 continents & 3 languages. With that kind of authorship, how is it still possible that the message is still clear: the redemption of Man through the sacrifices of God?

But what you are really looking for is not the historical accuracy, but the spiritual authenticity. Is the Bible really the Word of God? How can we be sure this is not the anthology of men and women who've had the same patriarchal visions, dreams, hallucinations, &c?

We can be assured that the Bible is a divinely inspired text due to the hundreds of fulfilled prophecies. The Lord spoke through Ezekiel to prophecy that the ruins of Tyre would fall into the sea, and they did 200+ years later with Alexander the Great; or Psalm 22 prophesying the crucifixion of Christ. These are just two examples, centuries apart.

Hope that helps!

Ask me anything

Litany of the Saints

h/t: phatcatholic

Ephesians 4:26 says to "be angry and sin not." I don't understand. Could you give an example of being angry and sinning, then could you contrast that example with an example of being angry without sinning?

The full verse of Eph. 4:26: In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,"

Anger is an emotion, and our emotions are good and healthy to experience. What makes the difference is what we do with that emotion. If someone cuts you off on the freeway, do you flip them off? If someone pushes you around unnecessarily at the club, do you punch them? Someone insults you, do you gossip, back talk, talk bad, slander them?

Do something about it; make amends, or move on. Don't dwell on it and fume. Also, do not take on the full responsibility of their actions (don't you be the one to constantly apologize or go to Confession for it). Was the cause of the anger, something significant? Does a compromise need to be reached? Does someone need to be taken down a notch? Would some time away be wise?

An example in my own life: I cut off one friend and deleted all his contact information because I told him I wasn't going to stand for one more abusive 2am drunken phone call. I would be there if he needed help, but if all he wanted to do was to cuss me out, I wasn't going to stick around for that. And I haven't. Another person told me that I should not speak until I was spoken to; to not offer an opinion or thought unless it was specifically asked of me. Words were exchanged and I decided that I wasn't going to speak to this person until they spoke to me. I haven't spoken to him since: I deleted his email phone number etc - why bother? Its not the 1800s and the original instigation of this 'rule' was something that I was perfectly justified in saying (I've gone to Confession time and again for it, I've spoken to so many priests about it) why should I have to keep apologizing for it? I don't! I've let it go. Anyone who makes demands on me to keep quiet, without proper reason, when they themselves cannot follow propriety themselves is not a person I'll be acquainted with.

Ask me anything

Hallowe'en

I watched The Phantom of the Opera with a girlfriend during the week.  I mentioned that it "must be the tragic in me that wants her to be with the Phantom."

So on this day reinvented by WASPs ;) to eradicate the bothersome Catholics & their blasted purgatory: I'm sharing a link.  I'm not weirded out by any of this.  Okay, so maybe St Rita would give me a run for my money.

I should pray the Rosary to improve my relationship with Jesus. However, I find myself praying the Rosary mostly in times of extreme stress because the Rosary has a wonderful calming effect. Is there benefit even though it was for the wrong reasons?

Why should it be wrong for Jesus or His Mother to comfort you? Mary has many titles, one of them being "Our Lady of Mental Peace."

While Jesus & Mary would like to hear from you on a more frequent basis, I'd say do what you can. I can't say the Rosary daily, it feels too routine; you've heard it said it's a 'weapon' - I use the Rosary for intercession. I have my little prayers & my favorite saints. So long as you keep the lines of communication open. What you "should do" gets easier with time. Pray a hail mary daily or do a decade per week. No ones expecting the 15 decade.

Here's the prayer that I mentioned above - you may like it: "O Lady of Mental Peace, Mother of Tranquility & Mother of Hope, look upon me in this time of my weakness and unrest. Teach my searching heart to know that God's Love for me is unchanging and unchangeable; and, that true human love can only begin and grow by touching His Love. Let your gentle Peace - which this world cannot give - be always with me. And, help me to bring this same Peace into the lives of others. Our Lady of Mental Peace, Pray for me!"

Ask me anything