Friday, February 3, 2006

Through various interactions on the internet and through e-mail I have noticed what countless others have: it's an extremely horrible way of communication. Especially when the two in the electronic conversation have two completly different endpoints in mind.

I can only suppose at this point that the emails I am recieving from one particular individual is in response to the manner in which I conduct myself. I am not writing of sinfullness, but of facial expressions, speech, etc. Simply because I walk around on campus as I have someplace to be, or my questions are quite pointed and direct does not mean that I am not at peace with my Lord. I all too often, and I have no shame in this at all, rely on Him to be there for me, whether it is after a night of discussing religion that dredges up old memories better left alone, the anniversary of Roe versus Wade, or a simple conversation that I hadn't the slightest inkling of it being flirtation!

I wish I could say directly to the person that they are far off the mark. I am at peace with my Lord, but I am not at peace with the World. Nor do I ever want to settle into peace with the World, or it is not the World I seek to please.

Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say rejoice. Joy has been commanded upon us, as has been peace. I have learned in the last few weeks through
on-campus ministries that all the things Christ tells us to do are for our benefit.
Further inspection reveals that when the Bible tells us to rejoice in the Lord, it is to be calmly happy and at peace with our God. I am that, yet the recipient of my e-mails does not see this. Oh, if I could be open so he'd understand the true depth to which I am content in God. Linked with this time in my life is the passage admonishing us to not let others see our trife, but to continue to wear anything but sackcloth, to not call attention to ourselves. I take joy in each day I live in the Lord, in the growth of the Spirit within me. I cherish it. Therefore, I am able to move on, live life as the World demands of me in the middle of disease and biopsies and occultic practices and self-disrespect.


Don't judge me based upon what you do not know, lest you be judged the same.

Monday, January 30, 2006

This morning, on KKLA at 8:30 am the opening comments were directed towards making changes in your life, and that God is the mechanism through which these changes and transitions occur.

Since I have started believing more than 6 months ago, most weeks do not go by without one realization or another whether its about the Bible or where my life does not match up with the godliness God inspires and impresses upon me. There is little else than I would love to be than that elusively godly wife someday. (I need to date and get a boyfriend first, of course!) But I don't think I had put so much faith in informal social control/public confession before. I think there is a drawback to the Catholic confession, in which its just the individual and the priest, for as the nondenominationals and Evangelicals teach, you are to go to eachother and confess. The social sanctions are more than enough to shame us into changing our sinful and godless ways. I don't that same shameful feeling when I go to a priest because it's not nearly half as public.

When we come face to face with public shame we are more apt to change our ways. It's likened to the difference between the laughing stocks in the town square and telling someone in private who is sworn to keeping his mouth shut. When you are aware of the fact that someone will not go about prattling your sins you can feel safe that you can go about your business with out shame or guilt. I say, hand over to me the shame and guilt, the more the better, and therefore the more likely I am to change my ways. In a public affirmation of our sins, there are more people we are held accountable too. You don't need to take a social psychology course to understand this, the writers of the Bible didn't have college courses available to themselves, but they got it correct: public statements are more likely to bring you to shame which pushes you to change your ways more than any tiny confessional can bring me to my knees and to change.