Lent is a solemn and sober season. It is at once my most favorite, and one that I do not always look forward to with eagerness, but I do look forward to it with a certain spiritual sobriety and longing.
In 2008 I fasted particularly strongly: no noise, music, or auditory stimulation at all. The only music, conversation etc occurred every Sunday at Mass. It took me a good two weeks after Easter to turn the radio on in the car. I cannot fast that way this year, however I am curtailing my music choices. I'm cutting certain practices out, and resuming some spiritual reading. What I mean by cutting certain practices out, is not like giving up chocolate or not watching television to gain more time to read. Rather I'm gouging out unsavory practices: habitual sin. I know that it's going to flare up before it ceases, but it will end.
As Lent is somber, there's a pervasive element of despair. It's the desert season: without water, without seeming refuge; exposed under scrutiny however painful. It's a time that I give myself permission to spiritually flounder, and I pray for it as well. I know that I need pruning and trimming. It's a difficult process, but in being aware that I need to go through it, I have to let it occur. I do not like it. I do not willingly seek it out in joy.
Do we enjoy scrubbing the toilet? No, but wouldn't you rather have a clean toilet to purge into when you've got food poisoning? Well, it's the same spiritually. We need to enter into Lent and it's sobriety to purge our Souls.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
I cut my hair on Friday and I dyed it red, well, mahogany. It looks good.
Mom's not pleased. She's been giving me the cold should since Friday night when she saw that I had cut my hair to shoulder length and dyed it. She only speaks to me if absolutely necessary. You'd think that I would enjoy the silence instead of her criticism. Nope. I just want some response out of her. At least comment whether she likes the cut. The color comes out -- eventually. But, no. We're going to act like the mature 5-year old that we are and ignore those who don't do our bidding. We will punish them for exerting their own will on their body. I was so thrilled and excited about my hair color and cut on Friday, you'd have thought I had received a raise.
why do I let her rake me over the coals like this?