Thursday, June 14, 2007

jobless & God

Forget intellectual post.

In school I was able to build up a routine of prayer between my class lecture hours, the extracirricular activities, and study periods. Graduation took away that schedule, and I spend all day, ALL day mind you, looking for jobs. If I'm not online actively looking or driving out to an interview, I'm nagged by my parents for why I'm not looking for a job. Well, let's see: I've been looking since April. It is now the middle of June. If I were to have a job, wouldn't I be having one by now, especially since its the only way for me to pay for graduate school? Mommy & daddy aint gonna pay for me. This university and these two degrees have done nothing but close doors in my face!

I've tried to set up a schedule of prayer and Bible reading for myself. I would like to do it everyday, but because I need to get up early, in order to get the prayers and job hunt done in the same 24 hour period, it's only every other day (MWF). I get up at 5:20am, pray the Rosary, read some psalms, & pray the Angelic Chaplet. Then in the evening I re-read the psalms and note/scribble in a notebook. Sometimes it's prayer, other times its frustrated questions.

I had what I would call a "Samuel Moment" Tuesday evening (~3 AM). It's frustrating to have that sense to just walk out on your life, and ask God "but WHERE do I go?!?"