Friday, April 13, 2007

A quotation

" 'Miss Elizabeth Bennet!' repeated Miss Bingley. 'I am all atonishment. How long has she been such a favourite? - and pray when am I to wish you joy?'
'That is exactly the question which I [Mr. Darcy] expected you to ask. A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment. I knew you would be wishing me joy.'
'Nay, if you are so serious about it, I shall consider the matter as absolutely
settled. You will have a charming mother-in-law, indeed, and of course she
will be always at Pemberley with you.'

He listened to her with perfect indifference, while she chose to entertain herself in this manner, and as his composure convinced her that all was safe, her wit flowed long."

Go on and dream for a bit!

If your daydreams, your dreams, your desires could whisk you away from this present life to anywhere in the galaxy, to any point of time in the past or future (distant or near), any gender (male or female), any personality (icy or warm), &c., what would it be?

Unfortunately time travel is not possible, well not in its entirety.

Book reading is time travel.

I always remain female, although some features may change such as I would be less thin, and a little more rounded out, a few curves more ample in just the right places. While I am presently just fine with my body, it would not do in steel-and-bone corset at all. Thus imaginary adjustments are made. Same for the hair, if it is seen as straight, there are side corkscrew curls framing the face.

My character changes, more submissive than it is now, although it does have a bit of the spunk seen in Jane Eyre after she leaves Mr. Edward Rochester, or the fiery criticisms of Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Presently, while I know that I am pretty, I try to restrain that aspect. It shows: very little, if any makeup, sparse jewelry, hair simply pulled back unless braided and pinned. I wear jeans everywhere although I much prefer floor length skirts. Indeed I own very few dresses or skirts that allow even the slightest peek of my knees. I dislike tan skin, so while I am in the sun, it’s never for the purpose of browning and toasting me to a crunchy crisp. Hair is the natural dark brown, regardless of other’s idea that it’d look better in a lighter, dyed shade. Been there, done with that and not going back. Why? because a man’s flattery of my looks will get him nowhere at all. Indeed, if a male compliments me he’ll get spurned.

What’s lacking? Oh, time period. During 1850s deciding to go westward would be great, towards a free state or a territory. As would the late 1700s or the Regency era (i.e., Jane Austen’s novels). Although I do like the Renaissance (1400s-1500s) and Middle Ages (especially the 1100-1200s) I’d have to be among the highest of the court members if I were to ever think of entering that time period.

Do you indulge your imagination, or do you stifle it?

Oh! Indulge, indulge, and indulge. If I don’t it’d pester me until I fed it and let it run out of life.

Do you feed it with background information, or do you let it run with what ever information you have and let it starve out?

I feed it until it runs it’s natural course. I never stop it short. I have to find out how the story ends.

Do you let it invade your waking life and adopt aspects of your imagination in order to keep it alive, or do you keep it desperately underwraps?

I let it invade my waking life and adopt aspects of my imagination into my daily functions in order to keep it alive. I adopt manners of speech, usage of makeup increases, hair is played with, smile a bit more often, glance away from guys, a little more open to the idea of marriage overall, expectations of people and society change, &c.


If there is a more freeing way to write of oneself, I cannot think of it for the moment. I've found that I get in trouble with the blog because it's very nature encourages reflection upon one's self and not onto others at all; very much in-line with the thought of 'the world' and so very out of touch with the selflessness God encourages us to develop. Perhaps even further from God will be the eventual desire to write and live in dreams.

Fantasy and imagination are encouraged by St. Ignatius as finding one's direction for life, yet at the same time this very same man wrote the Spiritual Exercises, persisting that emotions and notions have to taken out of discernment for the Spirit to be found and rightly acted upon. How can this be?

I am hounded by spiritual attacks, they alleviate, and then new ideas come into my mind. Prayer to God and Saints comes to me unbidden, and these themes are so very far removed from what I typically associate with a vocation. Confusion would ensue, if I did not staunch the flow with day dreams, fantasy, and desires. These dreams and desires are not of fleshly lust, but of travels and experiences, history and the future, and frills and hardship.

There is a perfect quote from James A. Michener's Alaska which fits perfectly here.

Better hunting, an addiction to adventure, a dissatifaction with oppressive old
ways, motives like these were the timeless urges which encouraged men and women
to spread out even in peaceful times, and it was in obedience to them that these
early men and women began to settle the Americas, both North and South, without
being aware that they were doing so. (p. 57)

Yet, it is not just actual, firm land under my feet that calls to me, but that too of the past, of past peoples and periods not experienced, not known that tug at me once again.

Dangers don't deter me, warnings have yet to phase me, people who understand, I've come across few.

Monday, April 9, 2007


St. Ignatius discerned his vocation through the use of his imagination and reading about the lives of Saints before him; imaginations are fraught with emotions. This very same man goes on to write the Spiritual Exercises which involve rational, critical thought and stresses the need to be devoid of emotion.