Monday, September 8, 2008

Collapse

darkness soaring into darkness
cold holding cold
fragility rejecting strength
smothered into death
rejection equating freedom
a soul collapsed in
fighting to avoid shelter
suffocating in unpercieved security
hoping on sufferance for liberty
falling from the lowest precipice
suppressed and deadened
timeless and loveless
vigor in descent
reviviscent surrender
simple elegance
always ever wanted
empire of constant presence

© M. Singer, Sept 2008

Monday, July 21, 2008

Life so Far

Classes are done for the summer, back in May, actually. Since then I have looked and looked for a job. I finally was employed at the end of June at two retail stores. However, sales are so low and business slow that my hours have been cut and I'm lucky to even work two days a week at one job, and get 4 hours paid at the other.

In the meantime, I'm working in the small vegetable garden or sewing. What am I sewing? bits and pieces of many different quilts. I'm in the process of quilting the one for grandma, sewing the one for grandpa and a bunch of other projects. Why the rush? Well, if I get accepted to the SMMEs, I won't be able to quilt any longer. I've got a lot of quilts to finish up for family members and fabric to use up. There's a clear possibility that I wont be able to make all the quilts with the fabric I've planned, so tonnes of little scrap quilts are being made. For grandpa I've made a scrappy Double Wedding ring; grandma an "amethyst" in green tones; mom Cathedral windows, which she doesn't know is for her but has declared that she does not like it. Too bad, its all in pink and cream colors for her. Dad and my sister I still have to figure out. Dad will likely get the kalidescope and monkey, I'll scrape something up. The one on the right, is just a scrap with blues, greens (melon is the light one), and browns. I thought I would use up all the fabric I had, but I didn't. Will probably make a second scrappy one. This one pictured is only 38" x 38".

Going camping this weekend and then in August will be going to Cancun with the family. On Aug 18th I'm due for jury duty and on the 25th classes resume.

Vocation-wise: I have registered for the fall retreat Nov 8-9th with the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist (SMMEs). I've told my dad about my discernment now. He seems ambivalent about it. He appears to be hoping that I'll go in November to the convent retreat, find out what it's really like and get back on track (date, marry, have kids, etc). In the meantime, I'm hanging out with a seminarian since he can't find work and my work hours suck. We talk about God, screwed up families, etc. all that fun stuff. Mom found out about it last week after we walked a couple miles on the beach strand and made fun of me the rest of the day ("why don't you hang around someone you can actually date?" "you don't want to be a nun, do you?"). Ha, good times.

I've also switched parishes. I no longer attend Mass at St John Fisher unless I can't help it. I now attend Ss. Peter and Paul Church which is much more conservative, in union with Rome, adheres to the GIRM, and well, actually looks like a church. I may even give and buy a chapel veil (not necessary), but it'll come in handy for when I do attend the TLM. I try to attend Bible study once a week at St James, and I have a spanish classes that runs once a week for six weeks (this week will be my last).

And that's my life in a nutshell.

Names

What is in a name? Perhaps a reputation?

Names are not just what are given to us by our parents to distinguish us from one kid or another. Our names have a way of being tarnished or gleaming with our own reputation.
So, it can also be with God.

Exodus 20:7 (NKJV)
You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
Exodus 20:7 (NAB; St Joseph Edition)
You shall not take the name of the Lord, your God, in vain. For the Lord will not leave unpunished him who takes his name in vain.

Maybe more than we are aware, the casual way we talk about God, inject His holy name into even the most flippant of conversations leaves non-believers wondering about our fear and reverence for this Creator we tell them we are so convicted about.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Richmond VA & Catholic Charities' Abortion Scandal

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Desiring God

O God my Truth, make me one with you in eternal love. Often I become weary with reading and hearing many things. You are all that I want and desire. (a Kempis, 3.2)

It's not just with words but of ideas that we become weary. The more that is heard, seen, and grapsed by the mind, the harder it is to discern the Truth. For example, if one listens to a single radio station, only one point of view is heard, but if two or more are heard, there are many more points to take into consideration regardless of whether these are wrong or not. So, it is the same with what we fill our eyes, mind, heart, and ears. What is that we dwell on? Is it the truth of God and the goodness that He's given to us to safeguard these very aspects, or are we being filled with the trends of the season?