Sometimes we let the things in the world crowd and clutter our minds. All these superficial things, all the “you should do this,” “why can’t you do this instead?” Demands from people, pulling us out, thinning us. Have you ever rolled dough? If you roll it out too much in one direction, a hole tears in the middle, at the core.
As cliché and age-old as this is, you really do need to be true to yourself.
In Scripture God tells Jeremiah (and all later generations of Bible owners) “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, why you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you […]” Jer. 29:11-14
Many things around us in life call out to you and demand you to pay attention – but how many of these pay attention to you? How many care enough about you to put the world on hold and listen – You’re His Child. Father says we can call Him Abba, which means Daddy. God says that He’ll listen to you – that nothing is more important than you in this very moment, and the next, of each and every day. Remember how often Jesus would say that He goes out looking for that one missing lamb while the other 99 are safe? Important things get repeated (example: teachers drill things into you, parents nag, etc). He’ll listen no matter how small or big the request; it’s just that sometimes His answers are different than what we expect.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Reflection for Good Friday
It is vast, and ageless. Eternal, and that is the most striking feature. Through the centuries there have been these people, seeming fools, that join the crusade, and fight. Some have solid proof for joining forces, others leap straight into it, and may discover their reason for joining along the way, or just as they perish in the fight. I’ve never bothered to understand it, I just oppose their forces. An mortal army fighting for an immortal cause few fully grasp, against my immortal and fearsome forces. Yet, it is I that trembles as their battle cry resounds.
One battle mattered more than any of the others, as it was the one that brought my defeat, and I’ll never forget the words of their Leader, “It is finished.” My forces shook more in that moment than His earthquake, and a pall cast over us darker than His clouds and thunder. Whenever possible, we take no prisoners, although we gladly accept all who defect.
Even now, in their idea of time, their army is taking hits from all sides, even within as their defectors cross back into His camp. Yet, there is a solid core and the newcomers and young ones, make it so difficult for us to continue our rampage. Few, but strong headed and claiming righteous anger, their generals are granting them permission. The Wind is blowing and their sails are unfurled; their weaponry forever loaded and ready. Marching, crying, the wholeness shakes, and I cringe at what is to come. And has already come.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A couple weeks ago, I can't exactly recall all the details, but I read something that said the Devil does not see the Church (all Christians) as we see it, right here and now, but across the whole span of time. It sees the Church as a vast and spiritually immortal army, against which the Devil's gates will not prevail. Since then, I have heard messages on Christian radio that echoes the sentiment. Later, an image came to mind during prayer, one of a vast army full of saints and sinners all claiming faith in Christ, the whole of Christianity from the beginning through now, perhaps even beyond. Different races, ages, types of dress, etc. And the whole vast army was marching, and it was a great and terrible sight to behold.
It wasn’t my imagination, I can’t drum it up again now writing it, and its distant and imperfect like a memory.
Satan does not see you and I as separate entities, but as a whole Eternal army under the direction of God the Father and Jesus Christ, with the Holy Spirit saecula saeculorum.
One battle mattered more than any of the others, as it was the one that brought my defeat, and I’ll never forget the words of their Leader, “It is finished.” My forces shook more in that moment than His earthquake, and a pall cast over us darker than His clouds and thunder. Whenever possible, we take no prisoners, although we gladly accept all who defect.
Even now, in their idea of time, their army is taking hits from all sides, even within as their defectors cross back into His camp. Yet, there is a solid core and the newcomers and young ones, make it so difficult for us to continue our rampage. Few, but strong headed and claiming righteous anger, their generals are granting them permission. The Wind is blowing and their sails are unfurled; their weaponry forever loaded and ready. Marching, crying, the wholeness shakes, and I cringe at what is to come. And has already come.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A couple weeks ago, I can't exactly recall all the details, but I read something that said the Devil does not see the Church (all Christians) as we see it, right here and now, but across the whole span of time. It sees the Church as a vast and spiritually immortal army, against which the Devil's gates will not prevail. Since then, I have heard messages on Christian radio that echoes the sentiment. Later, an image came to mind during prayer, one of a vast army full of saints and sinners all claiming faith in Christ, the whole of Christianity from the beginning through now, perhaps even beyond. Different races, ages, types of dress, etc. And the whole vast army was marching, and it was a great and terrible sight to behold.
It wasn’t my imagination, I can’t drum it up again now writing it, and its distant and imperfect like a memory.
Satan does not see you and I as separate entities, but as a whole Eternal army under the direction of God the Father and Jesus Christ, with the Holy Spirit saecula saeculorum.
Friday, March 19, 2010
So Many Things...
Unlike a lot of bloggers, I am not fasting my blogs for Lent; it's booze. That's difficult for any post-grad person who hangs out on campus, goes to bars, clubs, etc. Yes, for any jaw-droppers out there, I party like that. There's some fun under all this straightlacing!
Sister Joseph Andrew asked me this week for an update on my discernment and about where I am with taking care of my student debt. I do not have a definitive answer for me, for you, or for her; and we all should have a response to the inquiry! I would love to know what God wants to happen.
That being said, I've got a lot of peace around the idea that I am not likely to enter the Dominican Sisters of Mary. I was heartbroken last year when I was accepted and unable to enter, but not this year. This is not resignation, this is an accepting, "Okay, God, if not the DSMME, where? Who?"
No order, as I stand right now, will seriously consider me with debt. So thus far I know that I cannot seriously apply and enter a convent for about 2 years, perhaps 3, considering I ardently desire for my sanity to move out of my parents' house.
So I've got the "when" addressed. As for the where, there are several realizations coming to me, prayerfully of course.
First, I love the DSMME, but I think I was initially drawn to their vitality, youth, and faithfulness to Rome. These are all very lovely things to desire, but a vocational calling they do not make. I liked the idea of teaching, but having used this year to teach Confirmation, I can say I like teaching, but I do not love it. I cannot do it all the time. However teaching Confirmation and being involved with 2 parishes in the area have allowed me to experience retreats. I love helping out with retreats - teaching, coordinating, being in the background, and interceding for the retreatants.
What else do I like and look for in an expression of my faith? Spiritual warfare and intercession finds me; I don't go looking for it. Now, provided some of that is directly related to the fact I live at home and family members invite idolatry and occultic practices in; yet I'm around it even outside of the family house.
Third, I'm not attached to any of the Dominican saints; they are great people and saints, but they are not the ones I call upon. I call upon St Michael, St Joan of Arc, and St Benedict. And this got me to praying and thinking about what I mentioned above in terms of spirituality and warfare, and intercession. It's always been there, it's not going away.
Lastly, at the beginning, and this continues still, my prayer has been to be with Jesus Christ alone. To just be with Him all the days of my life, and nothing else. It's the "nothing else" and "alone" that jumps out at me now. In the previous 3 years of discernment I think I was afraid of monastic and contemplative vocations. I had no idea about them, and I wasn't about to consider them out of fear. Fear? Fear is of the Devil, and it always grips us right when we are about to do something that is perfectly legitimate in the eyes of God (i.e., Confession, speaking out about the Truth). So, maybe it's time to face this old fear head on and look at monastic life, and such.
That's where I'm at.
Sister Joseph Andrew asked me this week for an update on my discernment and about where I am with taking care of my student debt. I do not have a definitive answer for me, for you, or for her; and we all should have a response to the inquiry! I would love to know what God wants to happen.
That being said, I've got a lot of peace around the idea that I am not likely to enter the Dominican Sisters of Mary. I was heartbroken last year when I was accepted and unable to enter, but not this year. This is not resignation, this is an accepting, "Okay, God, if not the DSMME, where? Who?"
No order, as I stand right now, will seriously consider me with debt. So thus far I know that I cannot seriously apply and enter a convent for about 2 years, perhaps 3, considering I ardently desire for my sanity to move out of my parents' house.
So I've got the "when" addressed. As for the where, there are several realizations coming to me, prayerfully of course.
First, I love the DSMME, but I think I was initially drawn to their vitality, youth, and faithfulness to Rome. These are all very lovely things to desire, but a vocational calling they do not make. I liked the idea of teaching, but having used this year to teach Confirmation, I can say I like teaching, but I do not love it. I cannot do it all the time. However teaching Confirmation and being involved with 2 parishes in the area have allowed me to experience retreats. I love helping out with retreats - teaching, coordinating, being in the background, and interceding for the retreatants.
What else do I like and look for in an expression of my faith? Spiritual warfare and intercession finds me; I don't go looking for it. Now, provided some of that is directly related to the fact I live at home and family members invite idolatry and occultic practices in; yet I'm around it even outside of the family house.
Third, I'm not attached to any of the Dominican saints; they are great people and saints, but they are not the ones I call upon. I call upon St Michael, St Joan of Arc, and St Benedict. And this got me to praying and thinking about what I mentioned above in terms of spirituality and warfare, and intercession. It's always been there, it's not going away.
Lastly, at the beginning, and this continues still, my prayer has been to be with Jesus Christ alone. To just be with Him all the days of my life, and nothing else. It's the "nothing else" and "alone" that jumps out at me now. In the previous 3 years of discernment I think I was afraid of monastic and contemplative vocations. I had no idea about them, and I wasn't about to consider them out of fear. Fear? Fear is of the Devil, and it always grips us right when we are about to do something that is perfectly legitimate in the eyes of God (i.e., Confession, speaking out about the Truth). So, maybe it's time to face this old fear head on and look at monastic life, and such.
That's where I'm at.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
A Quick Update
As I have mentioned in the past several posts, the DSMME put a deadline on my student loans. I have spoken with many KoC and other Catholic societies in the region and have been told not much can be started before March. March does not leave me a lot of time, so instead of buckling down and plastering this world with monetary pleas, I've been praying more.
Which leads me to say that I think God is calling me elsewhere. I'm not 100% certain, nor am I pouring the concrete until the Sisters' deadline has arrived.
In the meantime, if you could squeeze me into your prayers - for clarity - I'd really appreciate it!
Which leads me to say that I think God is calling me elsewhere. I'm not 100% certain, nor am I pouring the concrete until the Sisters' deadline has arrived.
In the meantime, if you could squeeze me into your prayers - for clarity - I'd really appreciate it!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Are you going ...
This is a reflection I wrote earlier this month for a Confirmation 2 retreat.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I will stand at my guard post,
And station myself upon the rampart,
And keep watch to see what He will say to me,
And what answer He will give to my complaint.
Habakkuk 2:1
Habakkuk, a prophet from the Old Testament, says that he will stand at his guard post and watch for the Lord. He’s waiting, waiting. God’s never late, although He doesn’t seem to keep track of time like we do. He’s standing at his post, and waiting to see God and to learn what He has to tell him. Habakkuk is looking around, looking within himself, and willing to listen, although he does not know if what the Lord will say will be what he wants to hear.
God’s always there to quietly say to us This is the way, walk in it; except its so hard to hear God’s voice. God whispers, Satan screams. God gently nudges us along the right path and Satan shoves us off of it.
And sometimes the sun sets while we are still walking with God, or its dark and foggy. And other times its so cold that our hands get so cold and numb that we can’t feel that he is there, but He is. Its just that where we are when that happens, we loosen our grip on his hand. You don’t have to let go, though. Jesus and God are always here.
Habakkuk says that he went to a tower – in those days, there would only be other people around him seeking the same purpose – to stand guard. In other words, when wanting to hear God, either go off to pray like Jesus did, or surround yourself with Brothers and Sisters in Christ. Habakkuk gets above the world, God is bigger.
God is bigger. He’s bigger than all those little ideas about His actions being wishful thinking, or fate, or luck, or chance; or that He’s so big that He wouldn’t bother with us little people or little Earth.
So, you gonna go stand watch for God?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I will stand at my guard post,
And station myself upon the rampart,
And keep watch to see what He will say to me,
And what answer He will give to my complaint.
Habakkuk 2:1
Habakkuk, a prophet from the Old Testament, says that he will stand at his guard post and watch for the Lord. He’s waiting, waiting. God’s never late, although He doesn’t seem to keep track of time like we do. He’s standing at his post, and waiting to see God and to learn what He has to tell him. Habakkuk is looking around, looking within himself, and willing to listen, although he does not know if what the Lord will say will be what he wants to hear.
God’s always there to quietly say to us This is the way, walk in it; except its so hard to hear God’s voice. God whispers, Satan screams. God gently nudges us along the right path and Satan shoves us off of it.
And sometimes the sun sets while we are still walking with God, or its dark and foggy. And other times its so cold that our hands get so cold and numb that we can’t feel that he is there, but He is. Its just that where we are when that happens, we loosen our grip on his hand. You don’t have to let go, though. Jesus and God are always here.
Habakkuk says that he went to a tower – in those days, there would only be other people around him seeking the same purpose – to stand guard. In other words, when wanting to hear God, either go off to pray like Jesus did, or surround yourself with Brothers and Sisters in Christ. Habakkuk gets above the world, God is bigger.
God is bigger. He’s bigger than all those little ideas about His actions being wishful thinking, or fate, or luck, or chance; or that He’s so big that He wouldn’t bother with us little people or little Earth.
So, you gonna go stand watch for God?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)