Less hatred here today. Friday was a bad day. I had spent Thursday evening with a friend only to be told that I am too harsh, of which I already know and upbraid myself for once more. Secondly I found out that a PsyD really isn't that great and I'd be better off with a PhD, however I can't understand statistics to the extent I think I would have to in order to sucessfully complete the PhD program.
Then, I've spent the last 3 weeks in a growing sense of doubt, questioning the validity of God calling me to the religious life. I have tried to spend some time with Him over the weekend, however more time is needed. I think that God would be happy with whatever choice I made regarding my life whether I get married, or enter the religious life. On Wednesday evening at InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, the point was made that God will fulfill His Will whether you participate or not, but if you participate there are blessings, graces, mercies, and eternal salvation. Yet, we can not ever fully know what God Wills, and therefore, if we make the choice to not enter a particular life path it does not mean we are damned. No final decision has been made, a lot more prayer is needed in this matter.
In other religious news about my life, I am hereforward not allowed to attend Mass until Advent because I need the time to study for the GREs. Confession of this should be fun to explain.
1 comment:
With your hectic schedule, I don't know how you even have the time to discern what you're going to pop into the microwave for dinner tonight!
God is going to use you in a very powerful way. You don't have to know what way that is. All He asks of you is that you have your "boots laced" and ready to move out the moment He calls you. You will know when you hear His voice...until then, drink deeply from His cup of peace...
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