Thank you for your comments. It's easy to just type everything up, and leave it at that. Google Mail also just lets me moderate and publish the comments from my email. It's quick and convenient, which is why I am also posting here more often that I have in the past, since it's no longer just another blog on a random site that was outside of my typical routine.
This connectedness also forces me to read your comments, and because I haven't had these many different people reading my site in the past, I do take the time to carefully read the comments.
I know that Ginger & J.A. have left comments about love regarding the last (personal) post.
It is difficult, as I'm sure you all know. Family has that special ability to love, but also hurt, like few other social institutions of people can muster. It's easy to love when things are going well, and easy to hate when things have gone sour. The trick is to always love.
When I was at university for my undergraduate, I talked on quite a few occasions to Fr. Lawrence at the Catholic Center. Last time I spoke with him he said, and I'm going to paraphrase it: You [Megan] have the double bind of having to obey God's Word and Will, and having to honor father and mother as well.
It's no easier today than it was back in November 2006 or any other time before that.
I keep thinking of what I wrote the other day: it's like faith in God threatens them, it's something frightening and to be escaped. I phrase it "faith in God" because it appears to be easy to put thier faith into things like "luck," "chance," false gods & idols.
When there is behavior they want me to change, or they need an arguing point (a "get out of jail free" card to save their butt), religion comes up, and it's always my fault. They address it like one addresses "dirty laundry."
So I cleaned my room today. Religious icons out where they have always been, but letters and vocational packages have been discreetly hidden in plain sight. I am not going to stop them if they choose to rifle through my drawers and look at my Bibles, prayer cards, Christian & Catholic books.
I haven't been in the best of moods recently because I don't want to go out into the world and make $8.00 per hour with a 4-year degree. Yesterday, mom was less than sympathetic about it, and decided that prayer cards and Catholicism was a good thing to throw in my face, because surely that would "straighten" me "out." All she had to say, "Megan, when you graduated, there was no expectation of you from me that you would be employed at something other than a grocery store, bank, or clothing store." That's all! I felt like upon graduation it was expected that I find a job earning around $13+ per hour.
Whatever!
Meanwhile, Deus est Caritas sits on my bookshelf unread.
*Please, I know I don't sound loving on many of my posts, but know that I am trying.
3 comments:
Little Sister,
It seems hard... It's also easy for someone not in your shoes to give advice that may sound good in theory but in reality ... it's really hard!
It can be. What can you do? You need a friend, a very good friend, but be careful because at such times as you seem to be going through, we are more vulnerable. How about making "a deal" with the Blessed Virgin Mary? Become a child, her favorite and "only" child, and when all hell seem to be breaking loose all around you, run to her, cuddle up close and cry. She will understand and then you will feel better. And ah yes, she can be mischievous too, especially when she surprises us by telling us she understands much better than we think.
There is no doubt that you love your parents. There is also no doubt that (at least from what I see), they are not being fair, but being rather (how can I put it?), overbearing...
Offer it all up. Tell Our Lord to accept the discomforts you may get from your parents' reactions as atonement for sins (personal and collective) and also to accept it as petition for grace regarding your vocation.
Count on all our prayers!
I'm praying for you, but you know that. Consider this a reminder. :P
Sincerely in Christ,
Hidden One
PS: As the first [and only] encyclical I have read (in full), I must say that Deus est Caritas is well worth the read. (Read: well worth the sleep I lost reading it. 35 pages in MS Word, minus several of bibliography-related stuff.)
Like Hidden One, I advise you to go through Deus Caritas Est. I'm certain you will gain so much from going into the details of God, who is Love.
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