Fun with the Family

If it weren't spiritually agonizing, I'd howl with laughter at the plans my mother and father are cooking to keep me from the convent. I may not go this year, but hopefully I'll enter next year.

My Grandmother asks what is wrong with me for not wanting to marry. A friend told me to quip "I'm marrying Jesus" and while I am, I don't want to attend a funeral.

My mother wants me to attend business school, when I just graduated with a Masters in social work 2 months ago.

Dad said that he could barely afford to make my monthly loan payments if I don't get a job soon; yet he's willing to pay that and tuition if I go back to school.

Dad says I cannot collect donations from parishes and friends through the Laboure Society because I will be "taking it away from others." Pardon me, but this is Los Angeles! Where do you see other vocations?!? (Okay, so we exist, but we keep it covert.)

And the reasons I want to laugh:

1. whatever is not the Will of God will be thwarted.
2. Jesus came to separate Mother from daughter, father from son, etc.
3. I'm 24 & they can't force me to go to school.

Devil's Envy

God did not make death, nor does He rejoice in the destruction of the living. For He fashioned all things that they might have being; and the creatures of the world are wholesome, and there is not a destructive drug among them nor any domain of the netherworld on earth, for justice is undying. For God formed man to be imperishable; the image of his own nature he made him. But by the envy of the devil, death entered the world, and they who belong to his company experience it.

I absolutely love this passage from last Sunday’s first reading; there’s so much meat to it.

God did not make death, nor does He rejoice in the destruction of the living. He created us, male and female to be fully alive, eternally alive, and we can get a glimpse into how much the separation from Him and Adam and Eve caused after the Fall. He does not cherish death or destruction. It would be like Michelangelo’s reaction if the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel were to be damage beyond repair – it’s unwanted and heartbreaking.

He fashioned all things that they might have being; and the creatures of the world are wholesome, and there is not a destructive drug among them nor any domain of the netherworld on earth, for justice is undying. All that He creates is wholesome: from dirt to sex, all are beautiful, but it is with the corruption introduced by the Demon that these good things of the Lord are perverted and distorted. It is upon this distortion that the image of God cannot be seen in the reflection of His creations.

For God formed man to be imperishable; the image of his own nature he made him. But by the envy of the devil, death entered the world, and they who belong to his company experience it. Through the envy of the devil! Envy is, according to the Catechism (CCC 2539) a sadness and longing upon spying another’s possessions. Envy is wanting to obtain these things for oneself that disproportionate to the object of desire. What is it that the Demon wanted to obtain from Adam and Eve so badly, as to bring upon the whole human race perpetual death (prior to the sacrifice of the Lamb)? Would it be said that humility and charity are opposite roots of envy – as it is the suppression of the self and the desire to see other thrive? If so, then it can be seen that the Demon, lacking in charity and humility to serve Man, and in turn God-made-Man, wanted to deprive God of His creation, of His work of art? As for the children of the Demon, we know that we are not! For the humilty and charity of the Lamb has won out, and St Paul's word of "so once were you! but you are saved" ring out and reverberate across the centuries.

Vocation Donations

Hello Everyone!

As you may or may not know, my name is Megan Singer and I have been in discernment for the past 3 years. I was recently on retreat and accepted to the Sisters of Mary (http://www.sistersofmary.org).

The bad news is that due to my student debt I am unable to enter this August 28th as planned, but will enter Aug 28th 2010. The good news is that the Laboure Society has agreed to work with me. The Laboure Society enables me to collect donations in an anonymous and tax deductible manner.

I would love to send you more information with my vocation story. To do so, I need your NAME and ADDRESS.

Thank you so very much, & God Bless.

p.s. - if you know of anyone else who would like to help out, please pass this along.

Sincerely,

Megan Singer

lvngembrs@gmail.com

Familial Reaction to Vocation

I always knew it would be tough. I did not expect to feel like my heart had been torn out.

***

I told my mom about my discernment on Sunday afternoon around 4:25pm.

Remember that meeting I went to in Ann Arbor in November? Well I met a sister there and she recently emailed me about a retreat for the last week of June. It's for women like me who are thinking about but are uncertain of religious life.

I'm not going to waste my time, or give dignity to the things that she said to me. They were insulting, and she still looks at me with disgust and acts like I'm contaminated or contagious. There was nothing left un-insulted from my friends, the Faith, God, and myself. She insulted my judgment, my competency, my modesty, among other things.

Monday morning, my father instructed me to remove all religious items from my room: books, conservative skirts, prayer cards, Rosaries, statues, etc. There are four religious items in my room left: KJV Bible, a St Benedict medal above the doorway, a small Crucifix, and a nondescript statue of Mary. My mother stayed home from work this day because she was so upset. I was not allowed to stay home while she was there, so I spent the majority of my time in my car in parking lots. All my religious items and clothing for postulancy are in my car.

Tuesday, I went to Bible study in the evening, but everything felt like it was going through a filter. I was walking around in a spiritual haze.

Wednesday and Thursday I have been feeling better, but there are still moments.

***

My father has removed his support from me. He says that supporting me would ruin his marriage.

***

I have to purchase 3 years of health insurance for postulancy and novitate, and my father does not want anything less than full coverage. He will not let me attend the pre-postulancy retreat (6/27-7/3) unless he finds something that is satisfactory to his standards.

My mother and grandmother want me to work a year before considering religious life - if at all. My father is attempting to use this as leverage for me to buy the perfect health insurance plan for myself. However, if I were to work, as a social worker, what would remain after the government took from the paycheck, I would not have enough to afford his coveted ideal plan after several years of work.

If I do not go to pre-postulancy, my ability to enter on August is largely shot. Additionally, I need to pay off or have someone assume my $47,500 of student debt.

Drumroll Please!!

The long awaited vocation story:

I never once thought in all the time of my childhood or adolescence that I would be where I am today.  It wasn’t even really permitted – to think of religious life: poverty, chastity, and obedience in the service of God.  I cannot take credit for anything other than my “Yes” to God nearly four years ago.  It had been in private prayer to God when I came across a psalm verse that stated that God will fulfill His promise when we keep our vows.  I promised to Him then and there, before I ever became aware of the import of my prayer, that He could use me however He wanted, whenever He wanted.

While there were many people who pointed me over the past four years towards religious life, there are a few who stand out the most.  These are not the people who said “Megan, you look like a nun” or stated “You sound like a nun,” or even “God’s army needs you.”  No.  There are people who have shown me in their life, in their taking and living of religious vows what it means to see Christ in other people.  The greatest example I have personally experienced of that level of love and sacrifice can only come from a true zeal for Souls.  A friend of mine, Fr. Aaron Kuhn, was not the one to say that I looked or sounded like a nun.  He’s witnessed religious life and the suffering love that is so inherently desirable.  If there were to be one ideal, one moment that could be taken to say that encouraged and demonstrates the very nature of vocation – it is that he cared for a person and a soul that he had not met and barely knew.  As he has written recently, “These moments carry heavy opportunities to love, to suffer in humility, in magnanimity, in charity, to follow Christ as he is misunderstood, slandered, and crucified.”

I do not know where my “Yes” and my Love for God will take me; I don’t know where Christ is leading me, but I know that He has me by the hand.  I know that He’ll teach me an ever increasing Love and Zeal for Souls.  He has led me to a spiritual Home here with the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist.  For it is here with the Sisters of Mary that I will be daily impacting Eternity through supplication, praise, and belongingness.  As Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta stated, “I belong to Jesus. He must have the right to use me without consulting me.  The very life of our vocation is belonging and being used.”  A Bride stands beside her Divine Spouse; they endure all things together.