I have been tinkning of various ways to break my discernment process to my parents. Some of my thoughts flit to Boundless.org which counsels and advises inter-/non- denominational Christians on how to live purely in God while being away at the office or colleges. Some of the advice is about how to "get" a husband, and I have thought of how one such article might be applicable to informing family members of my discernment of entering a vocation. Other thoughts switch to a website that I was reading last week about a Sister who left her mother's apartment one day leaving everything and a note behind. The note informed her mother that by the time the letter is read the Sister would have entered a convent, because the mother herself was against such a religious life although she somewhat believed in God.

I would hate to have to do that. I want so much for myself to be supported in my search and discernment of a vocation, but know that is not a reality. In fact, I could easily do as that Sister had done, but first I would like to move out of my home to do so. But how would it affect everyone (i.e., Mom, Dad, my sister, and Gramma)? I know that regardless of how I would execute leaving for a convent, I will lose the support of my family. It is not a question of "if" but "when."

Enough melancholy ideas for now though. Other things are brewing, such as my prayer life. Last night during my evening prayers I felt Christ's Prescence in my room. It wasn't anything spectacular, just a realization that Someone was there in the room with me spiritually. I "dared" to stand in His prescence, rising from my prayerful position to make a request of Him. I feel that I now know that when I meet Him once I pass, that I will not back away from Him, as has often been my fear in the last few months, as I felt unworthy. But now I know that I will be so bold as to stand.