nice

The day was nice.  Sunny and breezy in the South bay.  Driving into Burbank it was omnimus dark clouds, which turned out to bring us awesome hail at El Porto's by 1pm and snow by 5pm.  Flipping awesome.  Probably the only time all day that I had a genuine smile on my face.  Bought some red suede high heels, and some cute earrings (things I actually needed: red, pink & gray pairs).

But I warned my girlfriend Mary pretty well. I said "Little Miss Sunshine is a bit more gloomy recently." And I carried along a long-standing joke about Zoloft.

I've had more coffee today, than I think most people would think wise.  Let me tell you, I could go around with a literal IV coffee drip, and I would still be tired.  I'm tired of being tired.  And I kind of want to enjoy eating, rather than feeling pressured to eat.

Such is life.

Want to leave you with this quote:

Psychology tends to be solar, wanting to bring all things to light, to overcome the darkness and make everything manageable.  It wants to banish darkness with any means at its disposal.  But no one wants such a harsh cleansing and brightening.  It would be better to be deepened and darkened by an experience of the night.  You would then become more complex, more interesting, less one-dimensional.

You can see that the point of staying in the dark is not to trick it into making you brilliant and germ-free, but to make you a more interesting person and to give you a more fascinating life.  In therapeutic times like ours, these goals may seem odd. But they are ultimately  more humane.  Rather than giving you a spotless, well-adjusted personality, they give you substance.  You become a person worth knowing, worth listening to, and worth loving, in all your dimensions. 

-- Dark Nights of the Soul, Thomas More, pg 51